Couples Counseling
Relationships are one of the most essential parts of the human experience and can be one of the most painful parts when they are not going well. All couples face challenges, and relationships are resilient if given the support they need. Entering into couples therapy is a valuable undertaking, and finding your way out of pain and into connection is possible. I’ve worked with many couples who emerge from dark times with a deeper connection and a more satisfying relationship.
I welcome people of all genders, sexual orientations, and romantic configurations (mono, poly, open, etc.) for relational therapy and endeavor to create an affirming space for LGBTQIA to do this work.
My couples come to therapy for a number of reasons, including:
“Perpetual problems” – the same issue(s) coming up over and over again
Adjusting to becoming parents and other transitions
Premarital/newly married – wanting to establish a good foundation
Looking for a relationship “tune up”
Disconnection
HOW I WORK WITH COUPLES
It is really important to me to speak to potential clients prior to the first session for a few reasons. First, it gives you the opportunity to ask any questions you have about my training, background, style, approach to therapy, and fees. Second, it gives me an opportunity to start to get to know you and what is going on in your life that has you thinking about therapy. Usually we can accomplish all of this in about 10 minutes. If at the end of the phone consultation we determine that I am a good fit for your needs, we will set up the first visit. If not, I am happy to work with you to find someone who is a better fit.
All visits will be a 45-minute appointment. The first session will focus on me getting some information on the relationship. By the time couples get to my office they are usually feeling stuck, in pain, or checked out; their best efforts to get to a better place haven’t worked, and they’ve decided therapy might be helpful.
Subsequent sessions are focused on the underlying emotions of arguments and how to get un-stuck and experience new ways to be in relationship with one another.
My style with couples is collaborative, experiential, direct, and down to earth. In couples therapy, my client is the couple relationship; through that lens we begin work on rebuilding connection, understanding self and other, and healing injuries. We interrupt problematic patterns of behavior and deepen the ability for partners to really see and know each other – working to build trust they can both care for their partner, and be cared for in return. In essence, couples build an owner’s manual for one another and for their relationship, and they are able to end therapy with the skills needed to function better on their own. Therapy will be a blend of me providing information on how to better communicate with each other and the practical tools and strategies on how to get un-stuck during disagreements. Once those tools have become a stronger foundation, you can also start to build on how to better connect with each other and feel safer in the relationship.